Top 5: Public Transport Irks.

Public transport. The bane of non-car drivers’ lives. Most of us use it every day and we all get annoyed at certain things/people making everyone else’s journey as miserable as possible. I’m about to launch a tirade against everyone and everything I deem to be a pain in the arse on public transport and the idiots who make my journey a misery.

Enjoy.

PS: I’m only going to list five but you’re welcome to add your own rants in the comments below.

001. Screaming kids: I don’t normally mind children as long as they’re quiet but, when I’m sitting on the bus/train minding my own business, I don’t want them screaming the whole place down whilst I’m trying to listen to my music. Bring children onto public transport by all means but at least give them something to read/eat/drink or shove a dummy/bottle in their mouths to stop them screaming every five minutes.  The same also applies on an aeroplane. Please keep them quiet and stop them ruining my trip.

002. Loud music: Another thing I don’t wish to hear whilst on a bus/train is other people’s music. I have my own to listen to and I don’t want to hear the latest ‘chipmunk-style’ tinny RnB (or any other) shite coming from phones. If you want to listen to it that loud and, possibly make yourself deaf in the process, please invest in some decent earphones/headphones. Otherwise, lower the volume. It’s beyond annoying and, as I’m too scared to ask the person (namely your average hoodie-wearing scallywag) to turn their music down, I have to turn mine up to avoid whatever ‘tune’ is coming out of their phone before tweeting about it mid-journey.

003. Scallywags in general: When I was on the bus the other day going to Pudsey, there were some rather loud scallywags (AKA chavs) towards the back of the bus on the top deck, playing aforementioned audible (and loud) music on their phones, shouting the odds, swearing and, to top it all off, they were smoking. Not only is the latter disgusting, it’s also banned on all forms of public transport and has been for years. Nobody wants to smell whatever it was they were smoking, whether it be a cigarette or a spliff, and stink to high heaven when they get home. Same also applies to those who have had a skin-full and stink of booze. I’ve lost count of the number of pissed-up weedheads I’ve had sitting or standing at the side of me on buses. Please leave me alone and go and pester some other mug.

004. People hogging the gangway/escalators: This usually happens when a) a train is packed or b) you’re trying to get off the bus/train but some arsehole’s in your way and you have to ask them about a million times to shift so you can get off the damn thing. It’s usually a case of pushing and shoving when your train (I’m using the train as the main one here since it normally happens to me on them) pulls into the station and there’s still a ten-second wait before the doors beep and open to let you off, then whoever it was doing the pushing and shoving barges past you and don’t even have the guts to apologise. If I accidentally bump into someone, be it on a bus/train/whatever, I apologise straight away. Some of us have manners. Please use them. As for escalators, it clearly says ‘keep to the right’, yes? Well, move to the right and get out of my way. I have a train to catch and I don’t want to miss it.

005. Lateness: One thing that really annoys me about public transport is the fact that, nine times out of ten, buses usually turn up late or knock for no apparent reason and then, to add insult to injury, the driver gets rather rude when you ask him why he was late in the first place. I’ve had the same problem with trains, either me being on it and stopping outside the station for ten minutes whilst waiting for another one to move, or one in front of the train I’ve been waiting for has broken down so the other one’s had to either go a different route or wait for them to move it. It’s mostly buses turning up late that annoys me though. There is such a thing as a timetable. Adhere to it in future, please, and stop me turning up late for whatever I’m supposed to be doing.

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