Ah yes, Instagram. It’s fair to say I’m an addict. I started using it in the middle of last year, just after I got my Samsung Galaxy tablet and then later managed to download it to my phone, and now I can’t live without it. Now, for the most part, I love it. Most of my friends (mainly from Twitter and Facebook) are on there as well and that, for me, is what makes me come back – to continue posting those little square photos with lovely filters on an almost daily basis. Having said that, I feel there should be some sort of etiquette on there and I felt compelled to write this because there have been a fair few people I’ve seen stopping by my account who seem to lack even the most basic of manners.
So, without further ado, here is a list of the things that really grind my Instagram gears. If you’re doing any of these, please stop it or get off my timeline.
001: Spam/porn/other bots.
I’ve seen this on my Instagram account A LOT lately. You know the sort of thing: “like my page and get an instant 100 followers” or “follow us for free giveaways”. NO. STOP IT. NOW. Instagram don’t give away free holidays to their followers, nor do people want to follow or see page upon page of someone’s arse in a bikini/shorts. I’m sure you have a lovely arse but this is NOT the place to post it. If you have a full stop anywhere in your name, or one that sounds gobbledegook with tons of numbers on the end of it, you can guarantee I won’t be following you. Oh, and we don’t want to see a million photos of your face either. Take them elsewhere, please.
002: Hashtag/liking overdosage.
Hashtags are cool but PLEASE DON’T overdo it! One or two about the subject you’ve posted in your photo, yes, but five or more is totally overdoing it. Hashtags that have absolutely nothing to do with the photo subject are also exceedingly irritating. Anyone following me with about twenty thousand hashtags will NOT get a reply/like from me. I’ll just ignore you/them. Same with liking photos. The amount of spambots and pornbots I’ve seen liking three or more of my photos in a row recently is ridiculous.
003: Non-square photos.
Instagram photos are supposed to be SQUARE. Who are the idiots posting rectangular photos with black or white bits surrounding them? More to the point, how are they doing that anyway? It’s defeating the object. If you want to post rectangular photos, go to Twitter or Facebook. Either do it properly or I won’t be liking your photos any time soon.
004: Gross photos.
Photos of dead animals, blocked toilets, bodily fluids and suchlike are totally GROSS. Please leave them off Instagram. In fact, keep them off the internet in general.
005: Lord Kelvin.
I have no idea who this Lord Kelvin bloke is but his greeny-orangey coloured tint in photos just doesn’t do it for me. I’ve never used it. At least, I don’t think I have. I may have done when I first started out on Instagram last year, but I don’t now. Plus, it hurts my eyes. Yes, use it by all means, but please don’t use it in EVERY photo. It just doesn’t look right.
BONUS 006: Not commenting/liking photos.
Most of my photos have very little or no comments or likes on them whatsoever. More to the point, most people whose photos I comment on never seem to reply back and, when they do, it’s usually a very basic one-word comment to thank me for liking/commenting in the first place. Surely it’s not that difficult to leave me likes and/or comments on a regular basis? I feel like a right Billy No-Mates at times!
Only just missing out are Timehops (I know way too many people who have this pointless app), people following me for the sake of following me (usually Russians). Oh, and people who have less than ten photos, yet still somehow have over 1000 followers. HOW?! And WHY?!